Are You a 'Texter' or a 'Serial Caller'?

What is your first instinct when you pick up your phone to connect with someone: to text or to call? This choice may seem trivial, but new research suggests it reflects significant aspects of your personality and your relationships with others.

Here are eight personality traits commonly associated with people who prefer texting over calling:

Texters Value Emotional Control: One key reason people choose texting is that it allows for better emotional regulation. Texting provides the opportunity to pause, think, and edit before hitting send. This relates to a trait known as “emotional self-regulation”. Those high in this trait tend to express emotions more deliberately. For them, texting serves as a built-in pause button.

You Are a Reflective Thinker: Texting tends to appeal to those who like to reflect before responding. It offers space for thought, making it ideal for introspective or analytical personalities. Reflective thinkers often feel uncomfortable with spontaneous, real-time interactions and prefer time to carefully consider different perspectives. For them, texting is not just convenient; it’s a form of mindful communication, often associated with “introversion”, a core trait in the Big Five personality model.

You Avoid Conflict: Let’s face it: phone calls can lead to emotional intensity, especially during disagreements. If you tend to shy away from conflict or uncomfortable conversations, texting allows for a more neutral, less confrontational exchange. For conflict-averse individuals, texting can help defuse tension by creating both physical and emotional distance from the other person.

You Value Independence: Many people who prefer texting also value autonomy in their daily lives. Texting allows you to respond at your convenience rather than adhering to someone else’s schedule, which can be empowering—especially for those who like to feel in control of their time.

You Are a Thoughtful Communicator: Do you find yourself re-reading your texts before sending them? Do you carefully select emojis or words to convey your message? If so, you are likely a thoughtful communicator who values clarity and precision. This trait is connected with conscientiousness, another trait in the Big Five personality model. Conscientious individuals are detail-oriented and deliberate in their communication. They aim to be understood, not just to fill the silence.

You May Experience Mild Social Anxiety: Even if you don’t have clinical social anxiety, you may feel uneasy in social situations, especially those that are unstructured, such as phone calls. The spontaneity of a phone call can be intimidating, while texting lets you control the conversation’s pace. Research shows that people who score higher on social apprehension questionnaires are more likely to prefer text-based communication.

You Are Digitally Fluent: It’s important to remember that texting is not just a personal preference; it’s also a cultural shift. If you grew up with smartphones or have primarily communicated online, texting may feel more natural to you.

You Respect Boundaries: Texting is generally more respectful of others’ time. A phone call demands immediate attention, whereas a text softly requests it and allows the recipient to respond when they are ready. If you believe in mutual respect, texting aligns with your desire to treat others as you wish to be treated. This principle is known as “reciprocal boundary-setting”: you are aware that others may be busy, stressed, or mentally exhausted, and you prefer not to impose on them, and vice versa is equally true.

Final Word: In summary, if making a voice call isn’t your first choice, it doesn’t mean you’re anti-social or dislike interacting with others. Instead, it shows you prefer engaging with awareness and subtlety—an insightful choice in a world where many seek to balance authenticity, efficiency, and tranquility in their interactions.

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